Angela Otts

I have never been a car bumper sticker person. My car has never been a moving advertisement, and it hasn’t tried to be funny at the stoplight. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t read bumper stickers.

The other day I saw an interesting bumper sticker on a Canadian car. It said, “Sorry for driving so close in front of you.” I could use that sticker almost on a daily basis.

I do like to read bumper stickers. They give me a tiny glimpse into who is driving the car in front of me. Most of the sticker sentences come with some hard-core truths.

I decided to see exactly what were some of the infamous, funny bumper stickers people have thought up. As a follow-up to the bumper sticker I just mentioned, I saw this one on the internet. ”Watch out for the idiot behind me.” I would worry about the person behind me taking offense and ending up in road rage.

I looked up some funny bumper stickers and here are some examples:

“Buckle Up! It makes it harder for the aliens to suck you out of your car.” Now that is funny to read. The kids would really take to that one.

“I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.” After reading that on the rear end of a car, you’d have to pass the car to get a gander at the driver to make that determination. 

“Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.” I’ve seen that one driving around Guntersville.

“Women are natural leaders. You’re following one now.” I like that one, for sure. Truth on a bumper sticker!

“Even though this is a Stupid Sticker, you’re squinting to read it.” That’s me at a stop light. I’m drawn to read the small print.

“Be patient. I’m pushing a motorhome.” The perfect sticker to put on a car or truck that is being towed by a huge motorhome. That driver understands road rage.

“SUBURBIA: Where they tear out the trees and then name streets after them.” Bumper stickers do speak to elements of society.

“I’m retired. Go around me.” Out for a morning drive and a stop for a biscuit. Like that one.

“Noah was a brave man to sail in a wooden boat with two termites.” The sticker writers were working overtime on that one.

“Guns do kill people, but bananas don’t. Buy bananas!” They hate guns and love bananas.

“Don’t worry, be happy. You could be driving around with my crazy family.” Poor mom, the chauffeur.

Thank goodness for stoplights so we can get a closer look at these messages instead of whizzing down the highway to catch up with the bumper sticker that got away.

“I’m prepared for the zombie apocalypse. I have enough stale French fries, Skittles, baby wipes, socks and toys on the car floor to last 6 months,” a sticker on a mom's car read. 

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